Cauliflower “Steaks” with Umami Streusel
Comfort food at its plant-based finest. Recipe here.
LAFFlines #21
If you’re thinking of mashing steamed cauliflower with melted white chocolate: Don’t.
The fact that a collegiate All-American swimmer devoured a white chocolate cauliflower tart at our house on Thanksgiving about a decade ago is a testament to the desperation of swimmers’ appetites. Indeed, the first bites of the tart were quite tasty. At about 3.5 forkfuls, however, a balloon of sulfurous sweetness filled my skull from the inside out. So, unless you’ve swum six miles this morning, resist the urge to go Willy Wonka on the cruciferous.
Instead, delight your cauliflower-reticent, Very Significant Other with slabs of roasted cauliflower topped with a tangy-salty-caper sauce and umami streusel. It’s easier than it sounds with surprisingly short hands-on time. The full recipe is here. CliffsNotes:
Trim the leaves off a whole head of cauliflower. Steam the whole head for 8-10 minutes, then brush with olive oil and roast on a parchment-lined baking sheet for 40-45 minutes at 400 degrees. For the sauce, combine the following in a blender until smooth: 1 package (10.9 oz) shelf-stable, extra firm silken tofu such as Mori-Nu; 2 tablespoons + 1 teaspoon lemon juice; 2 tablespoons nutritional yeast; 2 tablespoons (at least) capers; 1 tablespoon + 1 teaspoon Dijon mustard; 1 tablespoon garlic powder; ½ cup water; lemon zest (optional). Drizzle the sauce over the hot cauliflower slabs. For the streusel, pulse the following in a small blender or food processor until crumbly—¼ cup roasted cashews; ¼ cup hemp seeds; 2 tablespoons nutritional yeast; ¼ teaspoon fine sea salt; ½ teaspoon garlic powder; ½ teaspoon onion powder. Sprinkle the streusel on top of the dressed cauliflower. And, voila! Chef’s kiss becomes Very Significant Other’s kiss.
Tip: Store a batch of the streusel in the fridge and sprinkle it on soups, salads, pasta, spaghetti squash, scrambles, avocado toast, popcorn, green beans, broccoli, potatoes…
Where to Find LAFF Protein Crumbles
Roanoke Co+op (Grandin location)
Eats (Blacksburg)
Online store: Delivery is free in the New River Valley and Danville, Virginia.
Email: Email me at hello@laffkitchen.com if you prefer to pay by check or cash, OR if you’d like to pick-up your order at Millstone Kitchen.
Note from Abby
Peek-a-boo.
Remember what Mark Twain wrote about cauliflower in Pudd'nhead Wilson? “Training is everything. The peach was once a bitter almond; cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.” Apparently, cauliflower and cabbage both needed more training because they’re absent from Twain’s “little bill of fare,” an American meal that he outlined to eat when he returned home from months of travel in Europe. Peaches made the menu twice…“Peach cobbler, Southern style Peach pie”…as did green corn. Apples, with five appearances, were the most common food Twain dreamed of having in a “modest, private affair” of 90 American foods “all to myself.”
Twain’s approach to strawberries, “which are not to be doled out as if they were jewelry, but in a more liberal way,” applies to the umami streusel. No, the umami streusel won’t solve tsunamis or the broken thermometer in the fridge. But it’ll “train” Mr. Potato Head into Dr. Spud.
Happy to spring to one and all!
Abby - hello@laffkitchen.com