Bagel Bar Trivia
LAFFlines #22
Here’s some trivia to spark conversation around the table: What would Paul McCartney have been if being a rockstar hadn’t worked out?
Having a center tier of bagel ups your surface area for sauces. On the left: mustard-BBQ sauce with roasted butternut squash and sliced, roasted tofu marinated in coconut aminos and lemon juice. On the right: hummus, avocado, chive cashew cream cheese, more avocado, sundried tomatoes. To make the cashew cream cheese, soak ½ cup of cashews in ¼ cup of cashew milk for 30 minutes. Blend with 2 teaspoons white miso paste, 2-3 tablespoons snipped chives, and several grinds of white pepper.
He says he would have been a sandwich maker. He would’ve gotten himself a bike with a little basket on the front and delivered the sandwiches himself. McCartney’s sandwiches are so tasty that his daughter Mary, on the Table Manners podcast, included one in her hypothetical last supper. (She also included her father’s mashed potatoes.) In that podcast, Paul McCartney explained that the best sandwich starts by cutting an onion bagel into three thin slices. Then you toast the bagel slices, smear the slices with marmite and hummus, layer lettuce over the bagel holes to prevent seepage, and add “veggie” cheese. McCartney, who narrated a 2012 documentary about “why everyone would be vegetarian if slaughterhouses had glass walls,” doesn’t say vegan too often. He sticks with veggie, as in “we eat veggie” and “back when we started being veggie” and “I’m veggie.” Maybe he’s read the studies (like this one and this one) suggesting that the label “vegan” deters many consumers from plant-based foods. Maybe he’s just a masterful lyricist with preternatural sensitivity to how words move people. Maybe he’s just amazing.
And maybe I’m amazed by Steve’s mandible-maxilla mobility. In a world-class feat of jaws, he devoured two versions of the McCartney bagel sandwiches—more hits for Paul! These tripart bagel sandwiches would be perfect for a bagel bar. Set out various spreads (hummus, cashew cream cheese, nut butter, apple butter, marmalade/jam/jelly) and stuffings (avocado, lettuce, sliced tofu, sundried tomatoes, banana coins, sliced apple or pear) and let people go to town breading, spreading, and stacking sweet or savory McCartneys.* Meanwhile, you could toss around more trivia…
How would you translate the following foods from British to American?
Aubergine……eggplant
Courgette……zucchini
Rocket……arugula
Bap……hamburger bun
Crisps……chips
Chips……French fries
Biscuit……cookie
Fairy cake……cupcake
Treacle……molasses
And my favorite:
Pudd (or pudding)…dessert course (As in, “What are you having for pudd in your last supper?”)
As they say on Bake-Off: “tastes amazing, looks terrible.” You can make it prettier by layering it with whipped cream. But, really, beauty is in the mouth of the beholder. DIG IN.
One traditional British pudd is trifle. In fact, it’s the favorite of Dame Pru Leif from “The Great British Bake-Off.” She has said that she can make a trifle out of any leftovers. So can you. And you can do it without the booze. Preheat the oven to 300 Fahrenheit. Cut 2-3 stale-ish bagels into bite-sized pieces (cinnamon raisin works particularly well). Arrange the pieces in an 8*8 glass baking dish. In a mixing bowl or liquid measuring cup, whisk about 6 ounces of floral-infused preserves or jam (e.g., rose raspberry preserves) with about 1½ cups nut milk or oat milk. Keep whisking until you have a relatively smooth liquid with no clumps of jam. Pour the jam-milk (now there’s a band name for you!) over the bagel pieces. If the bagel pieces aren’t entirely covered, add a bit more milk (or even melted butter). Cover the dish tightly with foil and bake for 80-90 minutes on the middle rack. Hot from the oven, it’ll taste like a delectably gooey cobbler. Let it be** in the fridge for a few hours, top with whipped cream, and you’ll have a Virginia trifle. It may look “a mess.” And, after eating it, your teeth will definitely look a mess. But, oh, darling, believe me when I tell you it’ll do you no harm.
*McCartneys are what I’m calling these sandwiches.
**See 5:43.
Where to Find LAFF Protein Crumbles
Eats (Blacksburg) - Check the top row of the freezer section.
Email: Email me at hello@laffkitchen.com if you’d like to order 32 ounce or 8 ounce packages of LAFF protein crumbles.
Note from Abby
The word trivia comes from the Latin trivium, which means “where three roads meet.” Perhaps the road you choose is “trivial.” But not always. Not every intersection is arbitrary. For example, as I “meet up” with the one year anniversary of LAFFkitchen (incorporated April 14, 2024), I’m evaluating my business plan. I’m taking stock, not only of ingredients and supplies, but of what I’ve learned. I’m assessing whether the work so far truly aligns with the long-term purpose.
It doesn’t quite align. Fortunately, in my life of athletics I’ve practiced plenty of “strategic pivoting.” The first pivot (a.k.a., twist and shout) is to stop wholesale distribution. Working with Eats and the Co-op has been fantastic, but the price mark-up doesn’t align with the LAFF goal of increasing access to affordable, plant-based food.
More to come about other changes in next week’s newsletter…
In the meantime, if you’d like to order LAFF protein crumbles, please email me at hello@laffkitchen.com.
Thanks to each of you for reading this post and being part of the LAFF journey.
Cheers,
Abby